I'm a Goan woman, working in Mumbai as the founder of a studio called Totem Creative. I try to make the world happier, safer and more meaningful. I believe education, knowledge and awareness, art, writing and creating Social Impact are my means to achieve that end.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

(J) The Gambler

An income tax officer decides to audit a businessman, Zimmerman, and summons him to the income tax office.

The officer is not surprised when Zimmerman shows up with his attorney, Capwell.

The officer says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you won money gambling. I'm not sure the income tax department finds that believable."

"I'm a great gambler and I can prove it!" says Zimmerman. "How about a demonstration?"

The officer thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."

Zimmerman says, "I'll bet you ten thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."

The officer thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet."

Zimmerman plucks out his glass eye and bites it. The officer's jaw drops.

Zimmerman says, "Now I'll bet you twenty thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye."

The officer can tell Zimmerman isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Zimmerman flips out his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned officer now realizes he has wagered and lost thirty thousand dollars, with Capwell as a witness. Now he's nervous.

"Want to go double or nothing?" Zimmerman asks. "I'll bet you sixty thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between."

The officer, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way the guy can manage this stunt, so he agrees again.

Zimmerman stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the desk.

The officer leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Capwell, the attorney, moans and puts his head in his hands.

"Are you okay?" the officer asks.

"Not really," says Capwell. "This morning, when Zimmerman told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me a hundred thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it."

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