I'm a Goan woman, working in Mumbai as the founder of a studio called Totem Creative. I try to make the world happier, safer and more meaningful. I believe education, knowledge and awareness, art, writing and creating Social Impact are my means to achieve that end.



Friday, December 28, 2007

(J) Humour

One out of four people in this country are mentally unbalanced.

Think of your 3 closest friends.. If they seem okay, then you're the one.

Strokes - save a life


Please do your part and send it on, I did mine. It may just be one of US it saves.

STROKE: Remember The 1st Three Steps



STROKE IDENTIFICATION:

During a party, a friend stumbled and took a little fall - she assured everyone that she was fine (they offered to call paramedics) and just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes. They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food - while she appeared a bit shaken up, Ingrid went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening. Ingrid's husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital - (at 6:00pm, Ingrid passed away.) She had suffered a stroke at the party. Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps Ingrid would be with us today. Some ?don't die. They end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead.
It only takes a minute to read this...

A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke...totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough.

RECOGNIZING A STROKE:

Thank God for the sense to remember the "3" steps, STR. Read and Learn!
Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.
Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:

S *Ask the individual to SMILE.
T *Ask the person to TALK, to SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE (Coherently: It is sunny out today.)
R *Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS.

(NOTE: Another 'sign' of a stroke is this: Ask the person to 'stick' out their tongue... if the tongue is 'crooked', if it goes to one side or the other that is also an indication of a stroke)

If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call emergency services immediately and describe the symptoms.

A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this e-mail sends it to 10 people; you can bet that at least one life will be saved.

Monday, December 24, 2007

(J) 5 toughest questions that men have to answer

The five toughest questions men have to answer

1.What are you thinking?

2.Do you love me?

3.Do I look fat?

4.Do you think she is prettier than me?

5.What would you do if I died?

What makes these questions so bad is that every one is guaranteed to explode into major argument and/or divorce if the man doesn't answer properly. For example:

1) What are you thinking?

The proper answer to this question, of course, is, "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, caring, thoughtful, intelligent, beautiful woman you are and what a lucky guy I am to have met you."

Obviously, this statement bears no resemblance whatsoever to what the guy was really thinking at the time, which was most likely one of five things:

a)Baseball

b)Football

c)How fat you are

d)How much prettier she is than you

e)How he would spend the insurance money if you died

(The best answer to this stupid question came from Al Bundy, of Married With Children, who was asked it by his wife, Peg. , "If I wanted you to know," Al said, "I'd be talking Instead of thinking.")

2) Do you love me?

The correct answer to this question is, "Yes." For those guys who feel the need to be more elaborate, you may answer, "Yes, dear."

Wrong answers include:

a)I suppose so

b)Would it make you feel better if I said yes?

c)That depends on what you mean by 'love'

d)Does it matter?

e)Who, me?

3) Do I look fat?

The correct male response to this question is to confidently and emphatically state, "No, of course not!" and then quickly leave the room.

Wrong answers include:

a)I wouldn't call you fat, but I wouldn't call you thin either

b)Compared to what?

c)A little extra weight looks good on you

d)I've seen fatter

e)Could you repeat the question? I was thinking about your insurance policy

4) Do you think she's prettier than me?

The 'she' in question could be an ex-girlfriend, a passer-by you were staring at so hard that you almost caused a traffic accident, or an actress in a movie you just saw. In any case, the correct response is, "No, you are much prettier."

Wrong answers include:

a)Not prettier, just pretty in a different way

b)I don't know how one goes about rating such things

c)Yes, but I bet you have a better personality

d)Only in the sense that she's younger and thinner

e)Could you repeat the question? I was thinking about your insurance policy

5) What would you do if I died?

Correct answer: "Dearest love, in the event of your untimely demise, life would cease to have meaning for me and I would of course hurl myself under the front tires of the first Domino's Pizza truck that came my way."

This might be the stupidest question of the lot, as illustrated by the following stupid joke:

"Dear," said the wife. "What would you do if I died?"

"Why, dear, I would be extremely upset," said the husband. "Why do you ask such a question?"

"Would you remarry?" persevered the wife.

"No, of course not, dear" said the husband.

"Why? Don't you like being married?" said the wife.

"Of course I do, dear" he said.

"Then why wouldn't you remarry?"

"All right," said the husband, "I'd remarry."

"You would?" said the wife, looking vaguely hurt.

"Yes," said the husband.

"Would you sleep with her in our bed?" said the wife after a long pause.

"Well yes, I suppose I would," replied the husband.

"I see," said the wife indignantly. "And would you let her wear my clothes?"

"I suppose, if she wanted to" said the husband.

"Really?" said the wife icily. "And would you take down the pictures of me and replace them with pictures of her?"

"Yes. I think that would be the correct thing to do."

"Is that so?" said the wife, leaping to her feet. "And I suppose you'd let her play with my golf clubs, too."

"Of course not, dear," said the husband. "She's left-handed."

(Stony silence)

Here we return to the part about the explosion into major argument and/or divorce.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Pork Chops?

PORK CHOPS?

In a California zoo, a tiger gave birth to a rare set of triplets. Unfortunately, due to complications during pregnancy, the cubs were born prematurely and, due to their tiny size, they died shortly after birth.

The mother tiger after recovering from the delivery, started to decline in health, although she was fine, physically. The veterinarians felt that the loss of her litter had caused the tigress to fall into a depression. They decided that if the she could get surrogate cubs, perhaps she would improve.

After checking with many other zo
os across the country, they found that there were no tiger cubs of the right age to introduce to the mourning mother. The veterinarians decided to try something that had never been tried in a zoo environment. Sometimes a mother of one species does take care of a different species. The only orphans that could be found quickly, were a litter of weanling pigs.

The zoo keepers and vets wrapped the piglets in false tiger skin and placed the babies around the mother tiger. Would they become cubs or pork chops?

Take a look...




Tuesday, December 18, 2007

(J) Cool 'elderly' jokes!! LOL! read these!!

A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.'
'Really,' answered the neighbor . 'What kind is it?'
'Twelve thirty.'

Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer.'

Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
'Sure.'
'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.
'No, I can remember it.'
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so's not to forget it?'
He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes,
The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.
'Where's my toast ?'


An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.'
The other man said, 'What is the name of th e restaurant?'
The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?
You know... The one that's red and has thorns.'
'Do you mean a rose?'
'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'

An elderly gentleman...
Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'
The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet.
I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'

Saturday, December 8, 2007

(J) The Blonde

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, 'Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started.'
Her boyfriend asks, 'What is it supposed to be when it's finished?'
The blonde says, 'According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster.'
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,
'First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster.'

He takes her hand and says, 'Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then ..' he said with a deep sigh, 'Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box.'