I'm a Goan woman, working in Mumbai as the founder of a studio called Totem Creative. I try to make the world happier, safer and more meaningful. I believe education, knowledge and awareness, art, writing and creating Social Impact are my means to achieve that end.



Wednesday, January 23, 2008

(J) Melbourne Blonde

A plane is on its way to Melbourne when a blonde in Economy Class gets up and moves to the First Class section, where she sits down and generally makes herself comfortable.

The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. The attendant then politely tells the blonde passenger that she has paid for Economy and that she will have to go and sit in the back.

The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Melbourne and I'm staying right here!"

The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and co-pilot that there's some blonde bimbo sitting in First Class that belongs in Economy and won't move back to her seat.

The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for Economy she is only entitled to an Economy place and she will have to leave and return to her original seat.

The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Melbourne and I'm staying right here!"

Exasperated, the co-pilot tells the pilot that it's no use and that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman that won't listen to reason.

The pilot says, "You say she's blonde? I'll handle this - I'm married to a blonde, and I speak blonde!"

He goes back to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She looks up at him and smiles, "Oh, I'm sorry - I had no idea," gets up and moves back to her seat in the Economy section.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and ask the pilot what he said to make her move without any fuss.

The pilot replies, "I told her First Class isn't going to Melbourne."

Sunday, January 20, 2008

(J) Lady in Bus

Once a lady wearing a saree boarded a bus.

The conductor gave her a ticket of Rs 4.

Next day she wore a mini skirt, she got a ticket of Rs 2.

Next day she didn't need to buy a ticket! why?
















What were you thinking of, you dirty mind

She had a bus pass.

(J) Nasa's employees

NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could
go, but with one catch - he couldn't return to Earth.

The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be
paid for going. "One million dollars," he answered, "because I want to
donate it to M.I.T."

The next applicant, a doctor, was asked the same question. He asked for
two million. "I want to give a million to my family," he
explained, "and leave the other million for the advancement of medical
research." The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money
he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer's ear, "Three million dollars."

"Why so much more than the others?" the interviewer asked.

The lawyer replied, "If you give me $3 million, I'll give you $1
million, I'll keep $1 million, and we'll send the engineer."

(J) Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they were exhausted and went to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?" Holmes said Watson pondered for a minute.

"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Timewise, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that The lord is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have, a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Watson, you idiot, Some @$$#&~* has stolen our tent."

(J) Dollars

TEACHER: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many
dollars would you have?
VINCENT: One dollar.
TEACHER(sadly): You don't know your arithmetic.
VINCENT(sadly): You don't know my father.

(J) The Letter

An Illinois man left the snowballed streets of delhi in winter for a vacation in rajasthan. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.

Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor dead.

At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

Dearest Wife,

Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Your Loving Husband.

P.S. Sure is hot down here

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

The Glass of Milk


One day, a poor boy who was selling goods from door to door to pay his way

through school, found he had only one thin dime left, and he was hungry.

He decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost his
nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door.

Instead of a meal he asked for a drink of water! . She thought he looked

hungry so brought him a large glass of milk. He drank it so slowly, and then
asked, How much do I owe you?"

You don't owe me anything," she replied. "Mother has taught us never to
accept pay for a kindness."


He said .. "Then I thank you from my heart."

As Howard Kelly left that house, he not only felt stronger physically, but
his faith in God and man was strong also. He had been ready to give up and

quit.

Many year's later that same young woman became critically ill. The local
doctors were baffled. They finally sent her to the big city, where they
called in specialists to study her rare disease.


Dr. Howard Kelly was called in for the consultation. When he heard the name
of the town she came from, a strange light filled his eyes.

Immediately he rose and went down the hall of the hospital to her room.


Dressed in his doctor's gown he went in to see her. He recognized her at
once.

He went back to the consultation room determined to do his best to save her
life. >From that day he gave special attention to her case.


After a long struggle, the battle was won.

Dr. Kelly requested the business office to pass the final bill to him for
approval. He looked at it, then wrote something on the edge and the bill was
sent to her room. She feared to open it, for she was sure it would take the

rest of her life to pay for it all. Finally she looked, and something caught
her attention on the side of the bill. She read these words ...

"Paid in full with one glass of milk"

(Signed) Dr. Howard Kelly.


Tears of joy flooded her eyes as her happy heart prayed: "Thank You,
God, that Your love has spread broad through human hearts and hands."

There's a saying which goes something like this: Bread cast on the waters

comes back to you. The good deed you do today may benefit you or someone you
love at the least expected time. If you never see the deed again at least
you will have made the world a better place - And, after all, isn't that

what life is all about?

Now you have two choices.

1. You can send this page on and spread a positive message.

2. Or ignore it and pretend it never touched your heart.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

(J) The ancient symbols

Archaeologists exploring an ancient site discovered a hidden cave. Written across the wall of the cave, on a jutting out piece of stone, were the following symbols:

It was considered a unique find and the writings were said to be at least three thousand years old!

The piece of stone was removed, brought to the museum, and archaeologists from around the world came to study the ancient symbols. They held a huge meeting after months of conferences to discuss the meaning of the markings.

The President of the society pointed to the first drawing and said, "This is a woman. We can see these people held women in high esteem. You can also tell they were intelligent, as the next symbol is a donkey,
so they were smart enough to have animals help them till the soil.
The next drawing is a shovel, which means they had tools to help them."

Even further proof of their high intelligence is the fish which means that if a famine hit the earth and food didn't grow, they sought food from the sea. The last symbol appears to be the Star of David which means they were evidently Hebrews."

The audience applauded enthusiastically.

Then a little old Jewish man stood up in the back of the room and said, "Idiots! Hebrew is read from right to left...It says: 'Holy Mackerel, Dig the Ass on that Chick!'"

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

(J) Christmas presents

On the last day of school, just before the Christmas holidays were to begin, the children brought gifts for their teacher.

The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers .

The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy.
Then the liquor-store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box.

The teacher lifted the box up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit. She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it.

"Is it wine?" she guessed.

"No," the boy replied.

She tasted another drop and asked, "Champagne?"

"No," said the little boy.

"I give up," she said. "What is it?"

The boy replied, "It's a puppy."