I'm a Goan woman, working in Mumbai as the founder of a studio called Totem Creative. I try to make the world happier, safer and more meaningful. I believe education, knowledge and awareness, art, writing and creating Social Impact are my means to achieve that end.



Thursday, November 20, 2008

(J) Doctor's Office

A man arrives at a doctor's surgery complaining of serious back pain. The doctor helps him lie down on the examining table him and asks, "How did this happen?"

"Well," the man says, "I work for a local night club. This morning I got back to my apartment earlier than usual, but as soon as I opened the door I heard a noise in my bedroom.

I ran in. The balcony door was open. I just knew someone had been with my wife. I rushed out the balcony door but there was no one there. Then I looked down and saw a half-naked man running out dressing himself. I grabbed the mini-fridge in the bedroom and threw it at him. That's how I strained my back."

The doctor sympathised, gave him a prescription and sent him off.

A second patient arrived, looking as if he'd been in a car wreck. "Goodness!" the doctor said. "My previous patient looked bad, but you look terrible. What the hell happened to you?"

He replied, "I've been out of a job for the last six months, doc. I just got a new job yesterday and today was my first day. I forgot to set my alarm. I didn't want to be late, so I was running out of the building, getting dressed at the same time, and believe it or not - a fridge fell on me!"

"Ah," said the doctor. "That explains it." He gave the unfortunate man a prescription and sent him off.

A third patient arrived. He looked shaken and bruised and had several large bumps on his head. The doctor examined them. "These are rather severe!" he said. "What the hell happened?"

"Well, I was sitting in this fridge, and someone threw it from the third floor…"

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Scrap 4

Finally there was a day I ACTUALLY worked. For two whole days I stayed back in college to finish all my backlogs. It felt so good to be done with all your work, yet so tiring, that you dream of a body massage before sleeping. My irritation with Nuts hadn't stopped.She pretended like she didn't get it, but I bet she got it all.

Punk and I had a 'confession walk' that night, where we spoke of all the people we hated and all the people we loved. Of all the roomies that we dreamed of having the next year. Tanu joined in later and he was wondering whether he interrupted our conversation.
"I'll miss these walks.. And hostel.. And college.. During our Christmas hols." Punk said.
She really loves this place.. I thought. But things really were getting different. Better, or worse, I did not understand. And this place was getting close to 'home', just as much as I hated to admit it. I had spent just 2 months in M.I.T Institute of Design.

The stupid workers put my shelf from the table to the floor now. And again, to my displeasure, everything was chucked from my table to my bed again. My body was aching from work, and my mind was completely dismantled with stress. I was in no condition to clean it up. Yet there are those times, when you push yourself for some reason. Everyday was a mental stress tester, and it killed me to have it this way. But for once, I slept on my bed being proud of myself. Proud of the fact that I had got myself to work. Moreover, without anyone's help. Hopefully, things were getting better.

One of those tiring days, I went to look for some food in Punk's cupboard. It was far filthier than mine. Clothes poured out of the drawers the minute the cupboard was opened! I was so disgusted!
"EW!!! SICK DUDE YOU'RE SO DAMN HORRIBLY GROSS!!!" I yelled in horror.
"What?" she asked, without even turning her head to look at my face scowling in sheer disgust.
Punk's room was far filthier than mine. Her bed had layers of objects on it and her paints, pallets, brushes and assignments were all scattered over her shelf, which was now a dressing table. Somehow I shifted things on her bed and parked my ass in between.
"If you don't clean this by tomorrow morning then I'm getting a cold coffee in the canteen from you." I stated.
She exchanged an annoyed look and continued the conversation. It was beyond my understanding how she could live in that filth. I was graciously offered some sweet bakery biscuits by her. Yes, those too, were found with great difficulty for obvious reasons, and the conversations continued while we ate.

A few minutes later I was lying on my bed, writing my journal, when Punk came in and said, "Listen - I didn't clean it."
"Oh!" I laughed cynically. "I hope you've saved 20 bucks for my cold coffee." I said.
Punk's face dropped and she ran off to clean it, forgetting about our bed.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Scrap 3


We were called to the O.H.P room the next day for a presentation. Punk called me to sit in the front, so I joined her.
"Not there ya!" Tanu shouted, already picking a chair behind. "What if I sleep?" he asked.
"I'll wake you up." I said, partially confident of my words.
The hustle just didn't stop. Students kept coming in every 5 minutes, disturbing professor Arvind. "I think I'll just lock this," he said, walking towards the door, exptending his hand to the doorlock. "So that noone can come in, and noone can go out." he stated.
He started his intro on the presentation on visual language.
Punk, typically, immediately started jotting down every word he was saying like a Hermione.
Surprisingly, I fell asleep instead of Tanu!
"Those who are sleeping please wake up!" sir hinted. Someone shook my chair and these was a little hustle. A few hours later the class was half asleep, and sir just went on with his presentation. "Please stop me if you don't understand 'cause you have to make compositions on these topics and laws of Gestault." he said, loudly.
The end of that line made every talk loudly and get back to their normal self and wake up. There was some mumbling and then every was back awake.

Scrap 2

Punk ran from the bathroom to make it in time for lunch. It was 1:45 and the mess would close in 15 minutes. As she passed by my corridor I stuck my head out the window and screamed, "Madam! I'm waiting for you only! Hurry up!"
By that time she was in her room changing. Punk can be so fast.. I strapped on my watch. I hated to lose track of time. Especially since the time lost the cellphone.

"Eat fast!" she said, as I disgustingly swallowed the horrible mess' bhindi bhaji. "Train choot rahi hai kya?" I asked. She sighed with the guilt of being such a workaholic. When we reached the hostel she ran in with a brown package in her hand. "Eat this when you're REALLY depressed." she said. It was dark chocolate! Moreover, it was homemade. I was suddenly high and felt encouraged to work just by looking at it. Punk was in a hurry. She was going to college. On a Sunday! She wanted to finish her clay and P.O.P (Plaster of Paris) cube out there.

The following evening went pretty lazy, as it should have been on a Sunday. Nuts was getting crabby with her cough, and I was in a very teasy mood. Nuts coughed like she was choking.
"Cuhff cuhff! cuff cuff!!" I imitated.
"Ha ha. So funny." she said, removing something from her cupboard.
I was rolling on my bed, laughing at my own pathetic joke.
"Why do you think I'm laughing so much?" I replied.
I started rendering my 10 sketches, which were supposed to be submitted a week back. Pathetic. All just pathetic.

That night, Tanu, Nuts and I walked our usual path outside the mess. A short line or two about work was said. Obviously none of us were happy with all that we'd finished.
Later as we reached hostel (a place I now call 'home'), Nuts wanted me to teach her some geometry. But as I cleaned some stuff, she felt adventurous to ask for my Rollerblades. She washed her feet and tried them on, and fell to the floor minutes later, laughing at the thought of me going in my pyjamas and bathroom slippers to the mess. Maybe a few years later we'd talk of these times that we had in hostel, and how it was. If there WOULD be a 10 years..

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Scrap

Punk was worrying about going to Hadapsar when we had some much more work to do.. She had to get her passport snaps clicked and there's no civilization around us.
Days passed, but the workload never became less. It only increased, and we just had to keep working day and night. Occasionally I strummed on my guitar n got the song 'Broken' by Seether (Feat Amy Lee) right. I was so glad.. Playing the guitar got rid of some of my huge amount of stress. Each day got depressing, and we just slogged and slogged.
The faculty kept on pushing our patience. It was mental torture to even think of the work that we had to submit. Deadlines turned shorter, and life seemed pointless to me. Punk and I individually got thoughts, that maybe we both weren't even made for design. I kept on dreading that my future would go to the dogs and I would be chucked out of college for all my late submissions.
Even though we had so much to talk about, Punk and I silently kept our thoughts to ourselves.

A few days later we watched a movie with the film club. The club showed some brilliant movies which had a social meaning to them. Punk and I just became members that day, and the movie was kept as suspense. Usually the club put up notices of the name of the movie that they were screening. When I went to the canteen with Tanveer that day, the notice just read:"BE THERE!"
Everyone was eager to know the name of the movie that was screening. It was 'The Dead Poet's Society', starring Robin Williams! Most of us hadn't watched the movie but Raina had told me that it's a 'must watch'.
The movie was brilliant, and it mad us think a lot.. About our lives. About proper expense of time. About what we doing with our lives.
That night Punk and I confessed our worries about staying in the institute. Whether we deserved to study here. I don't know what made her say all this, 'cause actually she's way ahead of me. I'm the lazy, bored one who's not hardworking. She started getting homesick again, 'cause she realised she had chilled and watched a movie after a looooong time.

I decided things should get better. I decided I wouldn't care anymore, whether I'm submitting stuff on time or not. Cause all I got in turn was a lot of depression and aghony. So I finally made fun of the fact that I had too much work left to complete.
It's so easy to give up. But for me, it was harder than I thought.

Water

Seems like the purest thing around. Punk just offered me her bottle..
"Kal ka hai..Chalega?" she said.
"Duh!" I said.
I think water lasts for days n days n it'll still taste the same.. it's the one thing that can hardly get stale.
Have you ever played a vigorous sport, and felt really really thirsty. I did once, and someone offered me coke, after a game of basketball. But coke and other drinks can never get rid of your thirst, like water can. Water's the best! :)

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

(J) Jackass!

Guys this is HILARIOUS!! Make sure you read this! - Nikhita
___________________________________________________________

Patrick Hanifin found a unique way to ease his frustrations that was so successful, he actually wrote a piece on it! Read on for a laugh! - Anita
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In case your frustration level rises today, this is for everyone who occasionally has a really bad day when you just need to take it out on someone:

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a telephone call that I had to make. I found the number and dialled it. A man Answered nicely saying, "Hello?"

I politely said, "This is Patrick Hanifin and may I please speak to Robin Carter?" Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me!

I couldn't believe that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits.

After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying on my desk. I decided to call it again. When the same person answered once more, I yelled, "You're a jackass!" and hung up. Next to his phone number I wrote the word 'jackass' and put it in my desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up. He would answer and I'd yell, "You're a jackass!" It always cheered me up.

Later in the year the phone company introduced caller ID. This was a real disappointment for me. I would have to stop calling the jackass. Then one day I had an idea. I dialled his number and heard his voice, "Hello?"

I made up a name. "Hi. This is the sales office of the telephone company and I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with our new caller ID program." He answered, "No!" and slammed down the receiver. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're a jackass!"

The reason I'm taking the time to tell you this story is to show you how, if there's ever anything bothering you, you can do something about it. Just dial 555-1212.

It didn't end here though.

One day an old lady at the mall was really taking her time pulling out of her parking space. I didn't think she was ever going to leave. Finally, her car began to move ever so slowly and she began backing out. I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room. Great, I thought, she's finally leaving.

All of a sudden this black Camaro came flying up the parking aisle in the wrong direction and pulled into her space. I started honking my horn and yelling, "You can't do that, buddy! I was here first!"

The guy got out of his Camaro completely ignoring me. He walked toward the mall as if he didn't even hear me. I thought to myself, this guy is a jackass. There sure are a lot of jackasses in this world. I noticed he had a 'For Sale' sign in the back window of his car. I wrote down the number. Then I hunted for another place to park.

The next day I was at home sitting at my desk. I had just gotten off the phone after calling 555-1212 and yelling, "You're a jackass!" (It's really easy to call him now since I have his number on speed dial.) Then I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black Camaro and decided to call him too. After a couple of rings someone answered the phone.

I asked, "Are you the man with the black Camaro for sale?"

"Yes."

"Can you tell me where I can see it?"

"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and the car is parked right out front."

I asked, "What's your name?"

"My name is Don Hansen."

"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

"I'm home in the evenings."

"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

"Sure."

"Don, you're a jackass!" And I slammed the phone down.

After I hung up I added Don's number to my speed dialler. Now I had two jackasses to call whenever I had a bad day. However this wasn't as much fun as it used to be, so I thought about it and came up with a solution.

First, I had my phone dial Jackass #1. The man answered nicely and I yelled, "You're a jackass!" But I didn't hang up.

The jackass said, "Are you still there?"

I said, "Yeah."

He said, "Stop calling me."

I said, "No!"

He said, "What's your name, pal?"

I said, "Don Hansen."

He said, "Where do you live?"

"1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and my black Camaro is parked out front."

"I'm coming over right now, Don. You'd better start saying your prayers."


"Yeah, like I'm really scared, jackass!" And I hung up.

Then I called Jackass #2. He answered, "Hello."

I said, "Hello, jackass!"

He said, "If I ever find out who you are..."

"You'll what?"

"I'll kick your butt!"

"Well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now, jackass!"

And I hung up. Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them I was at 1802 West 34th Street and that I was going to kill my gay lover as soon as he got home. Another quick call to Channel 13 News about the gang war going down on West 34th Street, and I was set.


I hurried out, climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to watch the whole thing.

Glorious!

I watched two jackasses kicking the crap out of each other in front of 6 squad cars and a police helicopter I also taped it off the evening news

ROFL!!!

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I laughed my ass off after reading this!!!!!!! Hahahahahahahahhaah!!!!!!! this guys my role model!! Got a great sense of humour! Really witty!! n SUPER smart!!! =))!! In the comp lab right now n some people have turned their heads thinking I'm crazy!! LOL!!!!!!!!

Just putting up the post now.. The one I've been laughing about!! Hope you guys have fun reading!!!

Rupert - The baby deer


Little Rupert, who is so small he can fit in an adult's hand, was born after vets failed in their battle to save his mother. This tiny deer was delivered by Caesarean section at a wildlife hospital after his mother was killed by a car.

At just six inches tall and weighing just over a pound, he is now in an incubator in the intensive care unit at Tiggywinkles Wildlife Hospital in Buckinghamshire. He has only recently opened his eyes.

Les Stocker, founder of Tiggywinkles, said: 'Rupert's mother had very severe injuries. We brought him out and got him breathing and then he went into an incubator on oxygen. He is now being fed by a tube.'
Staff are optimistic Rupert, now five days old, will make a full recovery.
'Deer are very, very tricky but this one has spirit. He's an extremely feisty little guy and quite pushy,' Mr. Stocker said.








Tuesday, November 4, 2008

The Last Bite

Have you ever eaten something forcibly and then pushed yourself to such a limit that you can't eat the last bite? That's what this short blog's about.

Sometimes you have these amazing meals.. Heavy, but AMAZING! Like LASAGNA!!! Now who doesn't like good ol' garfy lasagna? But then sometimes it gets so heavy, that you eat n eat n eat n eat n eat n.. Well.. You get the point..
Today morning at the mess, I had SO much upma. N then I thought I could definitely finish all of it.. So I ate n ate n every spoon became such a task for me. I just gulped.. My speed decreasing every minute. Tanu watched a few times, but didn't notice any change in my appetite. Finally it all came down to that one last bite. *Urgh.* I thought.. I looked at it apathetically.. "I can't eat this" I sighed. Tanu raised and eyebrow n said, "It's only the last bite, no biggie!"
But it wasn't the last bite for me. I had been struggling to finish it off since ages, n maybe the previous 10 bites were my 'last bites'!
He seemed pretty clueless after I explained all this to him. Do guys know what I'm talking about?
The next time, try overserving yourself and then forcing the extra servings down your throat till you can't take it no more!

Pankti's Mood-o-metre



Ref:

  • Red: High and Abnormally Retarded
  • Blue: Feeling Low
  • Anything near the line: Bored/Sleepy