I'm a Goan woman, working in Mumbai as the founder of a studio called Totem Creative. I try to make the world happier, safer and more meaningful. I believe education, knowledge and awareness, art, writing and creating Social Impact are my means to achieve that end.

Friday, November 26, 2010

The arabs


A young Arab asks his father:

What is this weird hat that we are wearing ?

It's a "chechia" because in the desert it protects our heads from the sun !

And what is this type of clothing that we are wearing ?

It's a "djbellah" because in the desert it is very hot and it protects your body !

And what are these ugly shoes that we have on our feet ?

These are "babouches", which keep us from burning our feet when in the desert !

Tell me, papa...

Yes, my son ?

... Why are we living in Vancouver and still wearing all this shit ?

The alchoholic wine-taster

In an alcohol factory the regular taster died and the director started looking for a new one to hire.

A drunkard with ragged, dirty look came to apply for the position.

The director of the factory wondered how to send him away.

They tested him.

They gave him a glass with a drink. He tried it and said,
"It’s red wine, a muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers."
"That’s correct", said the boss.

Another glass.
"It’s red wine , cabernet, eight years old, a southwestern slope, oak barrels."

The director was astonished.
He winked at his secretary to suggest something.

She brought in a glass of urine. The alcoholic tried it.

"It’s a blonde, 26 years old, pregnant in the third month.
And if you don’t give me the job, I’ll tell who’s the father!"

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Patience while claymating

It's the 9th day of claymation. Pressure from all sides. Backlog, jury, 2D project, portfolio, lack of assistance or support from faculty, and to top it all, lack of time to have a second go and a test that went wrong. It's not like I'm losing interest.. More like I'm losing patience. I dunno if I would really like to animate in claymation. But that's with everything I do. I don't like animating something unless it comes right. 2D seems SO much easier now that I've done claymation I realise I can undo in animation. I can trace the previous frame, hold it, change the lighting, sharpen a line, it's all so much easier. Phew. Claymation ki jai ho! Vaibhav, I bow down to your talents. Have no idea how claymation studios - esp. studios like Aardman do it. They must be really patient people. The camera man is boring, but you have to pay good attention to the minute details - cracks in the clay, armatures being seen, shadows cast or moved. Overall the team has to be strong, and put everything else aside and put the shoot at top priority. There are no undos here. No shortcuts, and no Ctrl Z. That's why it's so hard.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

An a-sexist society

I have always wondered why I've never come across any great disney female animators on their movie's credits. It always pissed me off that we, women, never made it up there. I had to find out why. After doing

some research and finding some treasure too, I found out that disney didn't even take women in their learning programs. When female animators asked why, disney didn't answer, but said instead, that women were

to do only the manual work (told to be done on a daily basis) of inking and cell-painting. Okay, those times were different, women weren't given previliges, blah blah. What about now? After more digging I

realized men have a goal and they run for it. For fame, for money, or to feed their families. Women, on the other hand, have goals, have dreams, and run for them - until their man provides them with kids, which

they solely take responsibility for over their professions. And why is this? Because they are lazy? Because they lack creativity or intelligence? No. They're expected to 'compromise'.

It wasn't until some serious thinking that I finally came up with this conclusion.. We still live in a male dominated society; and the worst part is, this doesn't just apply to the lower classes of women (who are quite

helpless with no education and no physical strength to work or defend themselves), but even in the small mindsets of the middle class communities. For some weird reason I've started to notice this fact more than

I would, normally. Maybe it's my ego (yes, incase you didn't know, women do have egos), or maybe it's actually getting worse.

As noticed, for the common man of today, masculinity is all about having muscles, women (for entertainment purposes and to take care of the children they bear them with), and a bunch of porn movies.

Sometimes, there is also a competitive strive to make more money and be more intelligent than another man. Of-course, I'm not talking about ALL the men in this country. I have met some extraordinary (not

really, but I would label them so because they're better than the rest) guys who don't give a damn about the common MAN's opinions on masculinity.

How many men actually read a novel after knowing the author is a woman? (forget a novel, I doubt men will even read this article unless it's got something about sex.) I actually overheard someone in crossword

once, saying "Oh, it's a female - must be a cheesy lovestory eventually." Some of my male friends find it stupid if another male friend cries over a movie. They think that all movies that have blood, dirty sex, or

intelligent plots are made for men, and the romantics are made for women. Cheesy lovestories are not for men, and violence is not for women. Why do we say son of a bitch? Is it only the woman who can be a

slut? Is it only a woman who makes babies? Today even cooking is a crime for a guy. Wow. It's disgusting. I find these men truly insecure about their social status, or so concious of what people think of them that

they would do anything to fit in the criterias - including making some of their own. I even saw this publication the other day - a series of biographies of great personalities. There were some 10 lists - leaders,

freedom fighters, philosophers, inventors, artists, etc. Among these 10 lists full of names of great men, there was only one seperate list for women. I don't want to go into the details of how capable we were in

history, or even present times, but I know nobody will know about us, because we wouldn't bother running after fame much. Let me be clear once again, I'm not attacking the male population. There are some

great men out there waiting to make a difference, but I'm talking about the majority of men. There're a bunch of bimbos on the womens side too to negate everything I've been talking about. (No doubt about that

- a lot of women around me worry about what they're wearing instead of what task they would want to do by the end of the day.)

Conclusion: Nothing more. This is the state of things and if any change is desired then there's not much women can do. It's still upto the men. After reading this, people might consider me a feminist. I probably

am, but I'm probably just one of those people who dreams of a a-sexist society.

Friday, November 12, 2010

How to identify different indians!


Scenario 1

Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, sees them and walks on.



Scenario 2

Two guys are fighting.
Both of them take time out and call their friends on their mobiles. Now 50 guys are fighting.

You are definitely in PUNJAB !!!


Scenario 3

Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along and tries to make peace. The first two get together and beat him up.

That's DELHI


Scenario 4

Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch. A guy comes along and quietly opens a Chai-stall.



Scenario 5

Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes. He writes a software program to stop
the fight. But the fight doesn't stop because of a virus in the program.



Scenario 6

Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch. A guy comes along and quietly says that "AMMA" doesn't like all this nonsense. Peace settles in...



Scenario 7

Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, then a fourth and they start arguing about who's right.

You are in KOLKATA


Scenario 8

Two guys are fighting.
Third guy comes from nearby house and says, "don't fight in front of my place, go zumwhere yelse and kyeep fighting".

That's KERALA !


and the best one is ....

Scenario 9

Two guys are fighting. Third guy comes along with a carton of beer. All sit together drinking beer and abusing each other and then go home as friends.

You are in GOA !!!


The Indian student

Even I salute this internet joke.

It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty , or give me Death'?"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up:?'Patrick Henry, 1775'he said.

'Very good! Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?''

Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar. 'Abraham Lincoln, 1863' said Chandrasekhar.

The teacher snapped at the class, 'Class, you should be ashamed. Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about our history than you do.'

She heard a loud whisper: 'F___ the Indians,'
'Who said that?' she demanded. Chandrasekhar put his hand up. 'General Custer, 1862.'

At that point, a student in the back said, 'I'm gonna puke.'
The teacher glares around and asks 'All right! Now, who said that?' Again, Chandrasekhar says, 'George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.'

Now furious, another student yells, 'Oh yeah? Suck this!'

Chandrasekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, 'Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky,1997'

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said 'You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you.' Chandrasekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice, 'Michael Jackson to the child witnesses testifying against him, 2004.'

The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, 'Oh shit, we're screwed!' And Chandrasekhar said quietly, 'I think it was Lehmann Brothers, November 4th, 2008'.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Ride on

Step off the curb and jump on the bike
Are we going for a ride or going for a hike?
The breeze is good, and the sun is warm
Let us embrace till the winter comes.

My 20 year old vehicle, needs a kick start
Jump on the seat, I'm up for a ride.
Here we go,
the cows block the road,
a car honks from behind my back,
I ride on,
I ride on, I ride on.

Flicks of hair brush my face, the wind blows
a hurricane of particles in my eyes,
it blocks my sight, but I ride on.
He paints his walls and measures how tall
the plants grew in that old goan backyard

Touristswalk in semi-nude fabrics,
I swallow in a visually colourful sighting
of bags and shorts hanging on racks
Non-localites selling stacks.
I ride on, this summer is sweet.

I halt, she talks to me in local tongue
Talkative me, I suddenly see.
Did I miss the Konkani,
Did English serve sufficiantly?

I sing this song, I'm on the bike
The vehicle rattles on potholes deep
The greedy greedy government's greed,
But I ride on, ride on, I ride on.

Smiles, smile to me.
Windows open pleasantly,
I turn back now, I hope to see
All the memories flash back to me.