I'm a Goan woman, working in Mumbai as the founder of a studio called Totem Creative. I try to make the world happier, safer and more meaningful. I believe education, knowledge and awareness, art, writing and creating Social Impact are my means to achieve that end.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Life with a fever

I see people and their photos of things and experiences of their life. They are living, they are happy. You know how you get a cold, and then fever, and it hurts, and you realize how wonderful it feels to be well? Like you just ignored it all this time, when you were just fine, physically and mentally. And when you recover you feel wholesome, you appreciate being.. 'well'.

It's that phase in my life that's less than perfect. Perfect is never perfect. Perfect is when you're happy, even though things - didn't really turn out the way you wanted them to. Even though you don't have what you really wanted, but you're okay. You've nothing to worry about. Nothing to face. Someone to talk to. And things are ordinary, but you're goin' on. That's perfect, and if we realize that perfection, we are grateful, and hence - happy. We are happy with what we have, because we are not facing anything difficult. We haven't lost anything, or anyone, and life hasn't turned upside down. We have our work, we have our lives, a decent weekend, and we don't get lonely when we're reading a book on our cosy beds. We are happy. And then, we get a cold.

And then we get a fever. And the fever turns things upside down, and we see everyone else is fine, and it hurts - but it teaches us something. It makes us stronger than we were. We tell ourselves that we've been naive, but those who are willing to wear their hearts on their sleeves, are the true heroes. They are willing to be damaged, they are willing to feel sadness, fear, anxiety, anger. And that - is true bravery. Some of us become cold, and sharp. We build up walls around us and raise our egos and we don't trust anybody.

We don't want to get sick again, and go through the emotional roller-coaster again, but it is better not to live at all, than live in fear of getting a fever.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Iron Giant

8th March 2012

Woke up to the sound of many people cheering. I'm going through a very tough phase right now. I'm fighting with a lot of decisions that are um - not exactly work related. So I couldn't whole-heartedly join the celebration. I knew it was my last year here, and that I would never get to play again in MIT, but I could get myself to go downstairs. So the morning started off pretty terribly. I am now in class, trying to work on my backgrounds. I gotta admit, you really do need A LOT of energy and enthusiam to fuel a project like 'The Mailox'. A shortfilm takes time, patience, and a LOT of self motivation. So once again, I watched 'The Iron Giant' - a HIGHLY underrated 2D animation feature directed by the one and only - Brad Bird!

I gotta say there was so much I didn't notice the first time. Though the effect of the story stayed the same (I was in tears when the giant says 'You stay, I go') there was so much more to see in terms of animation and staging. I also noticed some of the shots would have not been possible without 3D. I saw so many shots that I can refer to while animating! For example, Hogarth running away from the camera, Hogarth on his bicycle, clicking a photo etc. it makes you laugh, and cry, and learn about life. I love the part where a deer in the woods get shot, and Hogarth explains to Giant how he perceives death and the idea of a soul. :)

Well, some fruit out of the uneventful morning! Will start with my backgrounds now!