I'm a Goan woman, working in Mumbai as the founder of a studio called Totem Creative. I try to make the world happier, safer and more meaningful. I believe education, knowledge and awareness, art, writing and creating Social Impact are my means to achieve that end.

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Another phase.

23rd September 2012

It's been a terrible week of a lot of sleep deprivation, depression, and the feeling of being squeezed of all creative juices. I feel terrible. I've forgotten the feeling when I felt amazing after drawing something. A lot of times I question whether I'm in the right profession. So much struggle, and such little visible progress. I feel homesick, and I really need a huge break without any work or any commitment for a while - but that seems so so farfetched.

What a phase. A lot of experiences and thoughts have gone into the making of the mailbox - it never feels like I've gone ahead. Thanks to Alok I feel an extra push once in a while. Tension is creeping up on me and it's hard to articulate everything. Pressure works really well on me. I turn into life-saving-mode and everything becomes super awesome and super fast. It's like adrenaline. When the pressure's gone, I'm left with laziness and the stress of failure. I hope I can get through this. I want to be better. I've gotten worse with the gesture drawing and the character design, hell knows where my animation and story skills lie right now - I don't even want to get there. I just wish I had the time. As students we want to rush things, and it's hard becoming something out there coz everyone is SO good at what they do. And besides work, you have to live a life!! Something that I wonder the people I admire have.

That's the emotional update for now. I wish I could chill, like I could before. I want to take everything that happens with humor.

Hoping every student of animation out there knows that it's okay, and there're more people like them. :)


"Aerodynamically, the bumble bee shouldn't be able to fly, but
the bumble bee doesn't know it so it goes on flying anyway."
-- Mary Kay Ash 


Revelations of a Tangled Me said...

You will be fine. :) wen u feel like this..jus relax..let it be..feel it..n then it goes.. :) n knwing how awesome u r..im sure u wil do well no matter wat..

Nikhita said...

Thanks tanu!